Episode 15: The Former Dream Novel-Loving Corporate Drone Likes to Watch Over Other People's Romances

The two of us returned to the road by the Safe House entrance, and once Elisabeth-san joined us, we launched into a strategy meeting about what to do next.

"The route to the Truck Ending goes like this."

As I spoke, I drew lines on the road with chalk. I’d picked up a set of road chalk on the way back to the Safe House and was now sketching a simple map to our destination.

Originally, this chalk set was meant as a prop to create the atmosphere of ‘children attacked while playing.’ For ethical reasons, no attacked children actually appear in the game, though... The set itself was standard: red, white, yellow, blue, green, and so on.

"The route goes like this, this, this, then this... and like this. See, simple, right?"

"This goes like this?"

"No, no, that goes like that."

"I see... So this is like this?"

"No, I'm telling you, that goes like this."

"Like this, then like this?"

"That's the one."

"This is like this."

"No, no, that is like this..."

"Aaargh!! Enough already!! I can't tell who's saying what at all!!!"

Elisabeth cut our serious strategy meeting short.

"Give it a rest, Sera, Kiryu!! You two have been acting weird ever since you came back from the shooting range, you know? You haven't even tried to look each other in the face this whole time, so your discussion has become utter gibberish!"

"Well, um..." As I said that, I glanced at Kiryu-san.
Kiryu-san hurriedly averted his gaze from me.
I, too, remembered clinging to Kiryu-san earlier, and the embarrassment made me look away from him.

"...I-It's nothing!! Nothing that Elisabeth-san needs to worry about has happened!!" I shouted, my eyes squeezed shut.

Then, for some reason, Elisabeth muttered, "...Hmm. ...I see, so that's how it is," her voice dropping.

"Huh?"

When I opened my eyes, Elisabeth was looking at me with a smirk.

"Um, Elisabeth-san?"

"I see, I get it now. Something like that happened at the shooting range, didn't it?"

"Pardon?" I couldn't help but tilt my head, but Elisabeth just kept smiling without saying anything. Her earlier tense demeanor was nowhere to be seen; she was now brimming with energy. It was good that she was feeling better, but I had no idea why.

"Um, Elisabeth-san, what's wrong? What on earth happened?"

"...This is sudden, but my self-introduction was far too late, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

"I'm just a nameless corporate drone from █Shuku. My hobbies are Otome Games, Dream Novels—a type of fanfiction with a large following in Japan—and listening to the love troubles of people around me."

"Dream Novels????" Kiryu-san tilted his head.

"Due to my profession, I know a bit about the culture of female-oriented fanfiction sites, but I've never heard that name... Do you know it, Sera?"

"Nope, not at all." I shook my head vigorously.

Elisabeth said with a wry smile, "It's no wonder a normie like you wouldn't know, Sera... It's an exceptionally niche hobby, even among so-called fanfiction novels. A Dream Novel is a type of web novel, specifically a derivative work. Novels where you imagine a romance between a copyrighted character and the reader are called Dream Novels. They're also known as... well, Dream Novels. They're not very mainstream, but they have enthusiasts all over the world. Overseas works are often tagged like 'Character Name!Reader.' They even have the 'hated reader' genre over there, you know. Called things like 'Bullied!Reader.' I don't know the overall genre name for overseas Dream Novels, though."

"What's with that exclamation mark (!), then?" Kiryu asked.

Elisabeth explained. "It's a symbol used with the same meaning as '×' in Japanese fanfiction. So, if it's displayed as 'Character A × Character B,' you know that the novel is about a romance between Character A and Character B. In the case of Dream Novels, it's often written as 'Character A × Dream Protagonist.' Japanese Dream Novels commonly use cookies and scripts. Basically, when a reader registers their name on a Dream Novel homepage, they can enjoy a romance novel with their own name embedded in the text. ...Incidentally, I'm part of the minority among Dream Novel fans, the faction that loves romance between a character and an original protagonist. Meaning, I don't enter my own name in the name input field. Every time, I input the name of a fixed original protagonist of mine."

"Original protagonist????" Kiryu-san tilted his head again. Then he looked at me and asked, "...Do you know it, Sera?"

"Nope, not at all." I shook my head vigorously.

Elisabeth sighed, exasperated. "You really don't know anything, do you... In short, it means an original protagonist created by the author. We've gotten sidetracked. What I'm trying to say is, I absolutely love observing other people's love lives. So much so that just hearing about the romantic escapades of my friends and family isn't enough; I even delve into Otome Games and Dream Novels. I don't care about my own love life. That's why I'm very happy with this current situation."

"...What exactly are you happy about?" I asked.

Elisabeth grinned. "Of course, I'm enjoying this situation where you and Kiryu-san are so obviously conscious of each other that you're acting all awkward, like upper elementary schoolers."

"Huh?! What are you talking about!"

"And like, we're not!!"

The "Huh?!" came from me, and the "And like, we're not!!" in a childish tone came from Kiryu-san. Perhaps because he was panicking, his way of speaking had become like that of an elementary school boy.
Seeing us like this, Elisabeth scoffed.

"Hmph, don't give me that 'we're not conscious of each other' excuse when you're so obviously flustered. Something happened at the shooting range, didn't it? I'm not going to say anything about what happened. But, the current state where you're both completely confused and your teamwork is falling apart is a problem. Hurry up and confess or hug or whatever, calm your feelings down, and switch your focus to clearing the Truck Ending."

As soon as she said that, Elisabeth clapped her hands together and spread her arms wide, as if to say, "Now, hurry up."
I frantically shook my head.

"Elisabeth-san, don't you have a heart?! There's no way that's possible, right?!"

"Is that so?"

"It is! I've never even met Kiryu-san in real life, you know? There's no way I'd suddenly want to be in a romantic relationship with him! I just purely respect Kiryu-san, that's all!!!!"

"Oh, okay, got it. ...That's how it is, apparently? Kiryu-san," Elisabeth said, glancing up at Kiryu-san.
Kiryu-san, clearly desperate for the embarrassing conversation to end, nodded repeatedly, as if to say, "I get it, I get it. I'll calm down, so please just stop talking about it."

Elisabeth-san, what is she saying all of a sudden...

As I sighed in exasperation and looked at Kiryu-san, our eyes met. Kiryu-san looked equally exasperated.
We both somehow understood that we were thinking the same thing, and we couldn't help but laugh.

"...See, you two are in sync after all, aren't you?" Elisabeth said with a wry smile. Her expression had changed completely from her earlier teasing look to that of a calm, older person.

...Come to think of it, she did have a teaching license, I suddenly remembered. Perhaps, as a teacher, she had experience guiding boys and girls who were conscious of each other.

Ignoring me as I pondered such things, Elisabeth continued.

"Being in sync is a good thing. But, no matter how chummy you are, if you're too embarrassed to even look at each other, you won't be able to demonstrate teamwork. Whether it's a folk dance at a school camping trip or zombie slaying, coordinated play is crucial. If you're shy, nothing will start, and this time, there's even a risk of dying, right?"

"Yes... you're right. That's true." I nodded firmly.

If you've realized it, that's enough, Elisabeth smiled gently.
It seemed she had just been joking around a bit to calm down me and Kiryu-san, who were clearly flustered...

"...I've memorized the route to the Truck Ending, so you two don't need to." I resumed my explanation with a sigh.

"To put our plan simply, we'll just power through enemies and mid-bosses swarming us, dodge various traps along the way, and take a little detour."

"That sounds tough," Elisabeth said.

"It's fine. We can do it. Then, at the end of that detour, there's a truck. We get in that truck, force our way through a road pulverized by missiles, and head for where 'Anata' is... something like that. It's fine, it's fine, we can do it, we can do it."

"I didn't hear a single element that sounded 'doable' in that, though?" Elisabeth put a hand to her forehead, looking like she was trying to suppress a headache.

I looked up sharply and smiled at Elisabeth. "It'll be alright. The road may be very steep, but we've acquired plenty of weapons—well, toys, really—so let's enjoy some blood-pumping, flesh-dancing, satisfyingly smooth gameplay, shall we? The rubble... I'm not sure, but I guess we can get over it by slamming on the truck's accelerator."

"I believe in Sera," Kiryu-san said tersely, picking up his crowbar. "The path is this way, right? We don't have time, let's go quickly."

With that, Kiryu-san really did start walking off quickly, and Elisabeth and I hurriedly chased after him.
Seeing me looking embarrassed, Elisabeth gave me a comforting smile, different from before, and patted my shoulder.

"...Did you really fall for Kiryu-san? Did the suddenness of it surprise even you?"

"N-No, that's not it! Really!!" I frantically shook my head, but... unfortunately, it was a fact that I was now extremely conscious of Kiryu-san.
I didn't think it was romantic feelings, like Elisabeth said... Just moments ago, I’d managed to laugh it off, but now a delayed wave of embarrassment was washing over me. Until now, I hadn't really thought much about the real-world Kiryu-san. I knew he was human, of course, but I'd been more influenced by the image of "Kiryu Souichiro." That's why I’d felt free to act so casually around him, almost as if he were just an NPC. I'd made all sorts of smug faces, like this one, and that one, and that other one, and committed just about every verbal blunder imaginable. But from now on? Impossible. I'm just too embarrassed. The proof was that, for a little while now, I hadn't even been able to look him properly in the eye.

"I see, then it seems I should stop teasing you. I'm sorry for being insensitive. But, what really happened between you two?"

"Umm... an identity reveal, sort of? Maybe..."

"Huh? How did that happen?"

"Well, his way of speaking was just like someone I knew, or..."

"And you can normally tell who someone is just from that?"

"Can you? Or... maybe not? Wait, how did I figure out Kiryu-san's identity so clearly just from his speech and a few hints? That is weird, so strange..."

"...None of that matters right now!" The one who finally spoke up, cutting off our conversation, was Kiryu-san. Apparently, he couldn't figure out where to go on his own and had returned to us.

"We need to finish this game quickly! That's all we should be thinking about right now!!" With that, Kiryu-san coughed very unnaturally. It was obvious just by looking at him that he was extremely flustered.
I guess the face reveal was too much of a shock... What if Kiryu-san's weird tension never goes away? I've done something terrible to a guy in his delicate thirties.

And so, with a subtly amusing and subtly awkward atmosphere, we set off.
...But, once the battle began, both Kiryu-san and I were back to our usual selves.
Zombie games truly are great. Zombie games are supreme. All hail zombie games.

"—Here, here, here, here, die, die, diiie!!" I smashed the window on the fifth floor of a multi-tenant building along the official route and started dropping a large number of NPCs from there.
The formidable enemies further down the route looked up in confusion at the NPCs suddenly raining down on them. As soon as the NPCs landed on the ground, they transformed into merciless killing machines and began attacking the surrounding enemies.
Next to me, as I cackled while dropping NPCs one after another saying, "Here you go, here you go," Elisabeth was completely taken aback.

"...You know. I always imagined people who are good at zombie games to be more, like, coolly slaughtering everyone..."

"If you get hung up on coolness, you won't achieve victory, Elisabeth-san. Zombie games are deep. Victory lies beyond crawling on the ground, sipping muddy water, and making all sorts of bizarre moves to raise efficiency."

Even while having such a conversation, once we descended the stairs and exited the multi-tenant building onto the street, we were met with a rush attack from Infection Bees. They were weak enemies that didn't give much experience, so there was no worry about us leveling up too much even if we defeated them.
When I said that, Kiryu-san, for some reason, started smashing Infection Bees with his crowbar with incredible force.

"Whoa, amazing. It's like a batting cage here." I couldn't help but be impressed.
It seemed Elisabeth, standing next to me, felt the same way.

"Kiryu-san can play smoothly too, huh... I don't really get it, but zombie games are easy, aren't they?"

"Elisabeth-san, please calm down. That's a common phenomenon among gamers: 'Watching a god-tier player's video makes you feel like you can do it too, but when you actually try, you can't do it at all.' You said you've never played a zombie game before, but... Kiryu-san is also incredibly skilled, you know, at this."

"Oh really."

"Ah, if we go straight on the next road, the whole road will get bombed, so let's climb the pile of rubble on the right."

Oblivious to us as we hurried along at a jog while talking, Kiryu-san continued to swat down bees as if possessed.

"—There it is, that's the truck!!" In the plaza beyond the pile of rubble, an exceptionally large, abandoned truck sat. It was khaki-colored, a military vehicle that looked intimidating just from its appearance. A 3-ton truck... It was the first time I'd seen one, and it was ridiculously huge.

"Let's get on this and head to the final area."

"...Can we even get on it without a key?" Kiryu-san, who had arrived late, asked, tilting his head as he touched the truck. Perhaps because he had just swatted down so many bees, he was sweating rather profusely.

"We can't get on without one, no. However, that's where this key comes in handy." As I spoke, I produced the key that had been tucked into Kiryu-san's pocket.

"...Ah, that's it. That key, it's the one from that room you can only enter on a second playthrough or later, right? Can you only reach the Truck Ending on a second playthrough or later?"

"Yes. The Truck Ending isn't a normal ending. It's like one of those so-called UFO endings, something the developers made as a joke." As I said that, I jumped from the step on the truck's large tire into the driver's seat and inserted the key next to the steering wheel.

"There's an ending where you get abducted by a UFO? That sounds interesting, maybe I'll look for a video when I get back," Elisabeth was saying as sparks suddenly began to fall from the sky, and the surrounding buildings started to burn.

"S-Sparks are suddenly falling!"

"That's because the key was inserted into the truck. It's proof that we've entered a 'cutscene.' The game is progressing normally, so there's no need to worry."

"A-A really beat-up Nick just appeared!"

"That's the cutscene Nick. He's several notches more handsome than the usual player character Nick, and he has detailed injuries on his body... no doubt about it." I jumped down from the driver's seat, observed the suddenly appeared New Nick, and came to that conclusion.
New Nick, his face covered in wounds and soot, looked around bitterly and then abruptly started shouting something in English.

"N-Nick started speaking in English!"

"Don't worry, Elisabeth-san. Right now, he's shouting something to the effect of 'I can't stay in this garbage-heap of a place any longer.'"

"Hey, some new old guy I don't know is also shouting something in English!"

"He's a cutscene-exclusive NPC. He's shouting something to the effect of 'I couldn't agree more. We probably won't find any more survivors, so let's hurry up and get the hell out of this nightmarish city.'" As I explained, Elisabeth watched the white men with a puzzled look.

"...Hey, Sera. Why are these people's lines so monotone? It's completely different from Glee..."

"Elisabeth-san, you've seen Glee?"

"I watched it to study English in university and kind of got hooked."

"You're so diligent and studious, that's admirable. Um, the foreign voice actors' wooden acting is a 'common trope in Japanese-made games aimed overseas.' Even though they should have hired actual English-speaking voice actors, for some reason, everyone sounds monotone... RESIDENT EVIL and that super-fast blue hedgehog also had truly terrible acting..."

While I was idly chatting, Nick clapped his hands and nodded.

"Ah, Nick is also saying 'Let's get out of town quickly.' Kiryu-san, Elisabeth-san. Let's get in the driver's seat. Soon, this New Nick and the unknown NPC should get into the truck and leave town, so before that happens, we'll hijack the truck, first go to where 'Anata' is in the final area for a bit, and then leave town to get the Truck Ending..."

Just as I was saying that, there was a momentary BZZT... sound, and along with a strange, crackling noise, my vision was swallowed by darkness.

【Character Introductions That Will Be of No Help Whatsoever in Understanding the Main Story – Not One Bit!】

The use of "English" as a placeholder is an homage to the classic (infamous?) masterpiece, Kowloon's Gate. This isn't a replacement error. In the original Kowloon's Gate, a Vietnamese character's lines were represented textually as "Vietnamese". (Incidentally, the voice actor was actually speaking Vietnamese.) This was likely not a prank using the dialogue window, but rather because they probably lacked the resources or development funds to implement a separate Vietnamese font.